Ok, just back from band practice as the alumni band and the main band will be joining the National Band Competition on this coming Saturday, at the VCH!=) And I am feeling very tired now. And the reason of me feeling tired was not because of me playing the instrument or so, but because of all the thing that had been happening to me in band! And those things really make me feels very tired of band! I know that I should not be feeling tired of going for band or so, but now; I really just can’t help it but just to feel really very tired.

1 week ago, on the Saturday band practice, I scolded one of my trombone junior, Hai Bei, while teaching her. And I got really angry and piss off with her as whenever she make a mistake, she will start laughing and act as if nothing had gone wrong, and after that, she will continue to do the mistake over and over again! And she had been doing this for more than one practice over the few weeks! And I really got angry and piss off with her until I scolded her! Guess what? She cried and everybody thought that it was my blame for making her cry; hence they make me sound as if I am the bad guy of the band! But the problem is that I don’t anyhow scold people for no reason, but yet those senior who are still in the band just don’t understand!..Sigh..And like what Qin Qing had said, maybe I am doing the right thing to help them, but yet they are no longer like how my batch of lower brass was, and my ways of teaching is no longer effective toward them! After hearing Qin Qing had said, I decided to give up on teaching the lower brass, and just step down while letting the present sec 4 and sec5 alumni to teach the lower brass, as I think this is the best way to make myself and lower brass happier!

But yet, I was wrong. Today, I went for band with the only idea of just practicing my trombone and have fun with my juniors, with totally no idea of scolding anyone of them! And guess what, after band, Hai Bei cried again when Ming Zhen wants to talk to her on some topic, and when people asked her why she cried, she said, “ GO ASK CHANG YUAN LAH!” And when I heard this, I was more than furious as I am really done nothing to her today, not even talk to her! And how will I know why she cried?! And after she said that, as usual people start coming to ask me why she cry, and some people especially Felix, came right up to me, and just say that it is my fault for making her cry! That time, I was really angry plus tired of it already! And she is one of the best liar you had ever met! Do you know why she say that when people ask her why she cry? It is because she thought that I had already left the school, hence she decided to use my name to let other people who doesn’t know the truth, to start blaming me again, when she is was at fault! What a smart plan! And this was later proven that she was lying, as after I went to confront her, and people to start ask her again why she cried, she refuse to say anything! And the reason being is that she knew that her lies are no longer useful, that she don’t want to say anything! And I got more than enough people to prove that I never scold her or talk to her today! THAT WHY SHE KEPT QUIET AFTER I HAD CONFRONT HER! I HATE PEOPLE FOR PUTTING THE BLAME ON ME WHEN I DID NOTHING WRONG AT ALL!

Yet some of the senior just don't understand, and still believe that I had make her cried today!..sigh..After today incident, I am really tired of going for band already. I really don’t understand why every time I am no longer feeling tired of a thing, another thing will sure come and make me feels tired again! Take for example, few weeks ago, I was really feeling very tired and exhausted because of the things happening in my love life, but when it was settle in the end, I thought that it the end for all the tiring and exhausted feeling, as life seem to be get better for me, with the accompany of xiuyi! * That why I always appreciate that I had her with me!* but yet, I was once put into tiredness again, all the project, assignment, test and tutorial seem to get harder for me to complete, but yet in the end, I still manage to struggle through all of it, and again I thought I will never feel tired! But yet, after what happen today, I was proven wrong again!..sigh..I am really very tired now! Why can’t I just live my life without feeling so tired? I really don’t know why..

That why I had decided that the few things I will like to do now, is to do well for my studies, go band and JUST PRACTICE WITH MY INSTRUMENT AND HAVE FUN WITH MY JUNIORS,WITH NO SCOLDING DONE, spend time with my family, my friends and finally spend time with xiuyi while cherishing, love and treasure her at the same time!=)..This is all I can think of now, maybe I will do more thing as time passes!=)..but for now, I think this is all ba!=)

Ok, I think I will stop here! Got to go and bath now! Cya!=)